


Eighteen

by LibraryMage



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Autistic Character, Autistic Ezra, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-29 22:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10146440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraryMage/pseuds/LibraryMage
Summary: On his twenty-fifth birthday, Ezra realizes something about his family.(trigger warning for focus on past (canonical) character death and brief mention of a minor head injury)





	

“It doesn’t look so bad,” Ezra said.

Sabine winced and shot a tiny glare at him as blood dropped down her face from the cut on her forehead.

“Okay, actually it does,” he said as he handed her a bandage.

“Thanks, vo--” Sabine stopped suddenly, but Ezra still heard the word she’d been about to say.  Vod’ika.  Little brother.

“You can say it, you know,” he said.  “I'm not gonna start crying or anything.”

“It’s just today is --”

“I know what today is.”  His voice held much more anger than he’d intended.  The truth was that her making a big deal out of avoiding it hurt so much worse than it would have if she’d just said the word in the first place.

“I'm sorry,” he said.  “I didn’t mean to -- you know what?  You’re right, this is just -- it’s not a good day.”

“Ezra --”

Before Sabine could get another word out, he’d already left.

* * *

 

Ezra sat in the dirt, leaning back against the trunk of a large tree.  The _Ghost_ wasn’t far away, still in his line of sight, and more importantly, still in shouting distance.  Hera had warned them all that this planet’s wildlife tended to be hostile, and none of them should stray too far from the ship alone.  But Ezra needed to be alone, and privacy wasn’t exactly easy to find on the _Ghost._

Even with the Empire technically gone, Ezra still hated this day.  It would never not be the day his parents were taken.  It would never not be Empire Day.  His only acknowledgement that it was also the day he was born was some vague realization in the back of his mind that he was twenty-five now, older than Hera had been when they first met.

But what weighed on him was that it was now eighteen years to the day since he lost his parents, since he lost _everything._   Eighteen years since what would always be the worst day of his life.  Eighteen years since his entire world was ripped apart.

And then it hit him as the numbers fell into place in his head.  Eighteen years.  It had been _eighteen years._   And that meant…that meant…

He pulled his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth a little as the realization settled into his mind.

* * *

 

Ezra didn’t know how long he sat there, staring off into the empty air in front of him, trying to wrap his head around this new knowledge, but it was long enough that Kanan came looking for him.  Ezra could hear him approaching, but said nothing.

“Are you okay?” Kanan asked, sitting down beside him.

“I'm fine,” Ezra said flatly, not looking at him.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?” Kanan pointed out.  Ezra said nothing.

“Sabine told me you were having a hard time today,” Kanan said.  There was still no response from Ezra.  “You can always talk to me, Ezra.  About anything.”

Ezra’s shoulders slumped.  He hadn’t even realized he’d tensed them up when he heard Kanan walking toward him.

“I --” he started, then stopped.  “No, it’s nothing.  It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not,” Kanan said.  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but whatever it is, it’s not stupid.”

“It’s just --” Ezra stopped talking again as he tried to find the right words that were just out of his reach.  “I realized -- I've been here, been with you guys, more than ten years.  I was seven when the Empire took my parents.  And that means -- that means you and Hera -- you --” he couldn’t finish the thought.  He couldn’t make himself say it, that Kanan and Hera had been parents to him longer than his parents got a chance to be.

“I'm sorry, Ezra,” Kanan said, putting a hand on his shoulder.  Ezra shook his head.

“It’s not -- I don’t even know how to feel about it,” Ezra said.  “I'm not angry, I'm not even upset, really.  I don’t know how I feel.”  He slumped backwards against the bark of the tree they sat under.

“It just isn’t fair.”

“I know,” Kanan said.

“They worked so hard to tell the truth and give people hope,” Ezra said.  “They should’ve gotten to be here to see the Empire fall.”

“They should’ve gotten to be here to see you grow up,” Kanan said.  “They were your parents, Ezra.  It’s okay to make it about your family.”  His arm slid across Ezra’s shoulders in a half-hug.

“If they were here, they’d be so proud of you,” he said.  “And so am I.”

For the first time that day, Ezra smiled.


End file.
